A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships: Helen Keller

April 25, 2010 Mom and Cody

I’ve come to realize over the last week that I have to Let my son Cody be himself, let him be Cody. Cody is not broken, the diagnosis of autism is not the end of the world, and that I’m not going to try to find “a cure” for Cody. I am going to except Cody as who he is and help him in every way to be the best person God has made him to be.

It’s taken me four years to come to this conclusion. Cody was born July 1st 2005 via c-section. He was a perfect beautiful baby. Red hair, blue eyes and very pale skin. And of course 10 fingers and toes. When I held him right out of delivery I had no idea what lied ahead for me and my family. What challenges my husband and children were going to face the years to come. There has been a lot of learning and growth the past 4 years as we gather as much information into our sons autism. As I sit and blog right now about the struggle Cody and my other 5 children have, Cody is wanting to play on the computer that my 12 year old son is on. Cody will get an idea in his mind like a lot of other children who have autism and wont let it go, or will interpret the conversation totally out of content. This leads to fights and tantrums on Cody’s part and leaves his siblings mad and frustrated. My 12 year old son Nathan I think has the hardest yet easiest time with Cody. There is definitely a love hate relationship.

This blog is about My family’s struggle and growth with the baby of the family being diagnosed with autism. Yet it’s just been 4 years since Cody’s birth we have had a roller-coaster ride of an experience.

I will share these sad and happy times we have had has a family, share pictures of Cody. This blog is mainly for me to help me keep things in perspective, keep a happy balanced life, And know my son is loved by his parents and five other brothers and sisters.

I will try to write everyday about our family vs autism. Cody’s life struggles and how our family deals with it and figures things out. I am not a writer. I ‘m not trying to write a book. My stories won’t be professional, but they will be honest in feelings and fact with what happens in our family with Cody.

Here is a wonderful quote a bit of reality from Susan Senators book. “In my own journey with autism, when I understood that my parenting ability was not the problem so much as my perceptions and misconceptions of Nat and autism, I could finally move forward.” Susan Senator in her book went on to say she started out like many moms with child with autism viewing her son as “broken or defective, blaming herself and the thoughts and feelings were counterproductive. Susan’s book was one more learning tool that my husband discovered for me while at the library.

Back to the computer and Nathan and Cody playing on it. We had to have a small melt down before they could finally play peacefully together. Now there both laughing about shooting something in a game. I’m very grateful that this didn’t turn into a full blown tantrum.